" I learned that it is the weak who are cruel , and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong . Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity. "
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Always follow what your heart says , it is where happiness stay .
Falling for love logical reasoning is never interfere , but i dont get it why persons articulate the relations by logic .
Hmm , finally im not tired today ! :D Parents went oversea and im so free ! :D Its gonna be the month of June in 7mins ! :( And then school gonna starts soon , i know its too early to say that but , time passes very fast when we are having fun and slows when we are studying -.- Sigh , i still cant get over the guilty feeling had in my heart :( MarcusTeo remind me again today !! :( Boyf came to find me and he piggy back me and turn rounds and rounds making me feel so giddy and almost fell down when i get down from his back -.- LOL !
Am i really being unfair to you ? I dont get it , why must it be me ? What the fuck did i do to deserve this kind of feeling ? I tried it before and its so obvious that whats my answer is right ? We promised to be a 2 long weeks , yet its only 2 days and i cant take it . I kept crying and crying for that damn 2 days , issin't that obvious enough ? Let nature take it course , i followed my heart and i still cant catch the right feeling . The problem is , you asked me to promise you that i must be happy in whatever i do and dont regret . And now you're not making me happy at all , because of me , you went to smoke when you dont even smoke in the first place , because of me , you went for drinking when you dont even drink at all . Im alrd very guilty for what i've done and helping you to forget me asap , but what i heard from your friends is that you didnt even forget me at all . I dont know what to say anymore , guess that i should have a talk with you and the history might be repeating again .
Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you .
My heart is aching when i say Goodbye , yet i couldn't stop myself from thinking . I tried to be heartless but the more im trying to be , the more it shows how much i love you deep down .
I dont understand why do i always feel so tired even though i've enough sleep :( Suppose to go Bugis today with parents , but i woke up at 12plus by Boonyong's msg . I didnt reply and went back to sleep , and later Yiyang text me to ask me go down to 4head . So okay i woke up and went to prepare , rushed down . Slacked , MarcusTeo came afterwards , watch them played Pokercards , super funny . Marcus went for his family dinner after that , but came back to look for us at 7plus again . Cab home around 8plus , and im so tired . My feelings is abit messed up now , one word to describe , vexed . Why the fuck must you tell me all these ? I know you wanted to share with me , but after telling me everything , cant you hear that my tone is abit different ?! Damn it .
Everything will work out perfectly , and if it doesnt , its not over yet .
No matter how things go wrong , one thing for sure is that mistakes help us find the right person for a good reason .
Hmm , its 10.40am now . Wonder how i wake up so early right ? Is because of my xdd boyf , he texted me early in the morning at 8plus , LOL . Wonder how he wake up so early when everytime i want to wake him up to meet me by keep calling his phone more than 5times but he's still not awake -.- Anw , was suppose to go out when boyf wake up ytd , but MarcusTeo called me up and asked me go over 4head first :/ So okay i went out , and i wanted to take train , and MarcusTeo called me up again and asked to cab over -.- And he agreed to pay for my cab fare , LOL . So cab over , slacked with Marcus and Spencer while waiting for boyf to wake up , waited for him under his house . Slacked while waiting for Yiyang , saw Darren and Chingfu . They join us awhile , bused to WM after that . Arcade , driving >> CSC , play pool >>cab to meet Emmeline . Cab home after that , i was so noisy and irritating because i kept telling Boonyong that there's no cab at all -.- But its true ! There's lots of cab , but all was either busy or hired . So i kept pestering him and he told me i behaved like xmm -.- LOL ! Waited for so long and i get impatient , and Emmeline came . The moment she came my cab came too , LOL . I was so happy that i jump around and once again Boonyong says i like xmm -.- Reached home , had my dinner and stuffs . And now i wake up so early for nothing :/ I had to wait for my parents to get ready . Lol .
It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return
Dont let your love one hurt by giving punishment just to realize the mistakes , but instead love her/him more and let that person realize that there is still room for improvement and tell her/him that you are always be here to support .
So now whats the point of saying those bullshyts to you ? Nothing else will change , maybe i really did smth wrong , but trust me , thats the kind of feeling i get in the past few months ago . I feel so helpless at that point , no one know how to help me but just trying to cheer me up . Things always pass by that i didnt even had a chance to take a look closely , you told me that im the first one , yes i know , but im sorry . Im feeling guilty but whats the point now ? No matter what i said will just influence and affect you more , time heals ? Takecare brother .
Got back my result ytd , terrible -.- And yet my form teacher told me that my Maths can be counted as good if were to compare with other classmates when my Maths only get 21/80 and the report book states "U" Zzz , i was damn shocked when i called Xiangling and she told me that i dont need to have parents meeting , so ytd i told my form teacher this " Why i dont need parents meeting ah , shocking leh " And he told me because my results were good ?!?! He asked me to open my report book and see , and all i see was my English get Grade5 , Mother tongue Grade4 and D&T Grade5 -.- The rest was "U" , this was so called "good" ?! LOL ! Jokes , i went to school for the sake of my result slip . Gave my parents my report book ytd , they didnt lecture me at all , guess they are numb ? :/ And im not afraid to let them see my result anymore , maybe its because i know they will do nothing but nag at me . LOL , might be going down 4head to meet Emmeline later , boyf and her is still sleeping so now im posting my blog to kill my time . Hehe , because i can took 3-4hours to post one post -.-
I just want you to be back , thats all .
Why are you doing this to me ? What have i done wrong ? I miss you .
What happen to you ? Why must you do this to me ? Why must you break my trust towards you ? Why must you disappoint me when i was having some hope in you ? Dont you know how i feel ? I bet you know , you just keeping quiet and hide everything to yourself . I finally had confident in relationship yet you broke it within a few mins , tears just rolled down and i dont know what to say . Im totally speechless , nevertheless , im trying my very best to make it up . Im being hurt once again , though i dont understand why are you doing this , but i guess you are trying to make me let go of you and start afresh ? I just miss you too much that i even dreamt of you , how i wish that i can dont wake up from the beautiful dream . I want everything to be back like how we used to be , how we disturb and joke with each other , how you keep calling me duck and telling me whatever i did was like a duck . Dont you just get it ? I want you back .
Everything seems to be happened so fast , till that i didn't even had a chance to prove myself .
I love you with all my heart , my heart was the only thing i could give , but you took everything away. You took my heart , my soul , my emotions . My heart was never really in me until i saw you , only beat when i saw your face , and burned when i saw you unhappy . You had my heart in between your hands , but you let it fall to the ground and now it is broken into pieces . I love you with the pieces left in my heart , Live , Laugh & Love , everything's gone and the only way to brighten my life , is to let me take a good look of you once again . Breath into me and let me feel your sweet breath , hold me tightly and never let go , because the one i love was you .
Things was like so fuck to me now . Im getting more and more impatient nowadays , holiday coming soon , why am i not happy at all ? I cant feel anything right now but pain , the pain in my heart has been bothering me for the whole day . I cant do anything but cry and kept everything to myself , i've got no one to turn to . Asking me not to contact you for 2weeks was like asking me to stop seeing you , wtf . Facebook and Blogger was no longer my friend , cousins added me on facebook , whatever i post on my status they would complain to her , and there's at least one person who told her everything whatever i post on my blog . I open my blog was for people to read , not for you people to complain to her , i post things on facebook status was to express my feelings , not for you people to tell her ! She told me that the people i mixed now wasn't good people , dont study , underage smoking/drinking and stuffs . I dont know why , i get fucking angry when she said that , so what if they are ITE , so what if they smoke ? Doesn't mean they are bad , they may look bad on the outside but not inside . Dont fucking judge people by their looks please , you didnt even try to communicate with them and you just tell me that they taught me things like skipped school and stuffs ? Hello , im just lost interest in studies , they didnt teach me all those , in fact , they asked me to study well . You said you were tolarating me all along , and didnt you know that im tolerating you too as well ?! You forbiden me to use comp , go out and the most ridiculous thing was chat on phone , i kept quiet and give in to you . Yet you told me my attitude towards you was bad ?! Wtf , please , yours even worse , im being nice enough to just keep quiet and show you black face , your attitude aren't any better anyway -.- Yea , 3times in a row , nice one ok . Damn it .
Even if im not perfect to you , at least keep me as your best memory ever .
I've alrd made the wrong choice in the first place . Im sorry , promise me that you'll be waiting .
Im sorry dearest , i've regretted for what i've told you . Yes , its gonna be a fair for the three of us , yet he told me he gonna delete everything about me and will only contact me back when both of us get back tgt . Didnt know that this day will come , i admit that in the first place i didnt treat this relationship serious at all because i was once hurt in relationship and im afraid that the ending might be the same . Till earlier on , i made up my mind and told you i wanna everything to be fair , the replied you gave me shocked me . I ran out of my parents shop and went straight to toilet , I told myself not to cry , I told myself its just a temporary pain because i've gotten more than thousand times of pain . But the moment your friends called me up and asked me what happen , i cried . See that ? Im sucha weak girl , though you're not the first guy i cried for , but you're the first guy that made me laugh without failed . Im serious , you can make me laugh easily by saying some nonsense . Let's see what will happen 2weeks later , Im sorry for making this decision but , thats what you told me , follow my heart in everything i do , just that i dont regret . I followed my heart and told you my answer , yet i regretted . Guess this is what we called fate ? Dearest , promise me you will be waiting , for the day i become your girlf again . (L)
我一直以来都很想告诉你 , “我爱你”.
Can you treat me as your best memory ever ?
Happy Birthday Mummy ! :D (L)
Hmm , didnt went to school today :/ So does Emmeline , went to Bugis with my parents . Kept dragging my father to go BugisJunction with me to buy mummy a cake , in the end all the things he bought was mostly mine instead of my mother's -__- Sigh , boyf is sick now ! :( MarcusTeo too ... :/ ? Going Bugis again tmr , i finally get to eat my tomyam noodles today , LOL ! I've been craving for days and kept complain to Boonyong that i wanted to eat it :P Alright , im going for my mask alrd , bye people ! :)
我不会再为他流泪了 , ♥
I remember the day i met you , I remember the day you said you miss me , I remember the day you said you love me , I remember the day you hugged me , I remember the day you kissed me .
Im back people ;) Few days later gonna be my mommy's birthday ! ;) Hmm , had my tuition today :( I hate tuition alot alot ! After tuition went out to meet boyf , wanted to take train there , but the bus was too long and the moment i thought of waiting for the train , my mind straight went - BORING ! So i cab to BukitBatok instead , went in arcade to find boyf , MarcusTeo was there too . Watching them driving and stuffs , after that accompany them for their smoking break :/ Took cab , sent Marcus home first , and then boyf sent me to Bugis and he went to meet his friends ;) Im currently broke now , and caused boyf to pay the cab fare that costed 35dollars from BukitBatok >> CCK >> Bugis >> Town + Peak hour :( I think im being too lazy nowadays , i keep taking cab . I always take cab home from school/outside , now even when i go out , i also want to take cab :( Its like i take cab to go to the place i want and take cab home . Seriously waste money but i cant help it ! I lazy take bus/train , except for going to school . Gosh , i must try to quit this habit alrd !! Hmm , im getting fatter and fatter :( I want go for diet !
Currently talking to Weixiang ( MarcusTeo & co.'s friend ) on msn , he's being so irritating !! He told me smth like this :
WeiXiang : You use what to edit all your pictures ?
Me : Why leh ?
WeiXiang : Asking loh , maybe i want use to edit my face small small .
Me : *Laughing hard* And also edit yourself slimmer right ?
WeiXiang : Ya , oi , not funny .
Me : LOL ! Sorry , i dont edit my pictures , all original .
WeiXiang : Pui .
Me : Really lah !
WeiXiang : Your msn picture .
Me : No edit before one leh , LOL .
WeiXiang : Why so white , tell me ! Why !
Me : Cause got sunlight what -.-
WeiXiang : Dont lj .
Me : I show you , SERIOUS LAH !!
WeiXiang : Okay loh , trust you .
Me : Lol , i only adjust the light in my phone and then take picture when there's sunlight thats why so bright right !
WeiXiang : Like ghost .
Me : LOLOL !! -.- _l_
Irritating right ?!?! :( Say my photo all edit one ! Btw , my photos really didnt edit before ok , all originals ! :(
It's much easier to confess than to hide your true feelings .
Don't ever love someone with all your heart until you think that he's the one you really wanna be with , or else you will get hurt once again .
Hmm , life wasnt that nice for me :( My result was sucks ttm , i think that overall i only passed two subjects out of eight -.- LOL . Meet Boonyong in the morning at WM , slacked and bused to 4head to meet Emmeline :/ Walked in to school , and the both of us was like dont know how many days didnt sleep , we sleep for every single lesson , from morning reach class we straight away sleep , recess stay back in class continue sleep . Till after recess English period , we woke up and chit chat + eating fried rice . LOL ! Dismissed at 12.40pm today , slcaked with Emmeline , Yiyang , JiaEn , Spencer and Darren at 4head . Totally joke , Yiyang keep bullying the small malay boy that really pissed me and Emmeline off . Funny ttm ! Boonyong came after that , slacked awhile more and cab home . My mother ytd was like abit crazy or smth ? Hmm , shall not elaborate it , i bet that my teacher called her up and complain things to her :/
You made me fall in love with you deeper and deeper day by day .
Can you promise me that you wont be another him ?
Im back ! :) Was going to post ytd but my parents @#@%$^% -.- So nvm . Yesterday night was totally a disaster for me , i only slept for 45mins and i woke up and prepare for school . Trained to Batok , meet Boonyong and Emmeline in the morning . Got back my result today , its like omg to me :( I only passed Mother tongue and English paper , and the rest i failed . The most shocking thing is that Emmeline passed everything ! -.- She didnt even study leh ! One more ! She got first for Chemistry and 3rd for English in class , omg -.- Then nvm , i was so freaking tired that after i get my result and i sleep till next lesson and did the same thing again . After school was made to stayed back by Chemistry teacher because i didnt did her correction :/ Meet usual people at 4head , Boonyong , Spencer , Yiyang , Marcus , Darren , Qilong & co. with Emmeline . Slacked till 4plus and cab home , i feel like telling my mother that i failed everything instead of telling her i only passed two :x I dont know why , i feel that if i told her i failed everything will be better , LOL ! Hmm , alright , gtg , im freaking tired :x
It already hurts so much to see that someone you love is feeling sad . It feels like you are being slashed in your heart when you know you are the cause of it even if its unintentionally .
Don't say we're not right for each other , the way I see it , we're not meant for anyone else .
The things that are so irreplaceable , they seem to run by without giving us the chance to see how much we've just lost .
I learn to give not because i have many , but because i know the feeling of nothing .
♥ 10thMay2010
Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.
Hey people ! :D Hmm , meet Boonyong in the morning , waited for Emmeline too . Had Chemistry paper , i somehow know how to do , but not confident enough :x Ended at 9.15am , went out of school with Gavin & co. as the next paper starts at 10.45am , so all of them went to eat while me and Emmeline chatting over there . Walked back to school after that , okay again , i flunked my paper . LOLOL ! :/ I leave 2-3 pages blank of my D&T paper :x Wonder how to face my parents , first time i did that , LOL . Dismissed at 12.15pm , met Spencer at 4head , MarcusTeo and Qilong came afterwards . Emmeline went off first , slacked awhile , i laughed till tired :/ Jokers , supposed to cab home myself , but ended up i spon them cab to the place they wanna go , i've done a good deed again , LOL ! Spencer and Qilong get down first , and Marcus after that . Reached home , straight away knock out , super tired and till now i heavent even bathe :x Was chatting with MarcusTeo on msn , he told me some disgusting things -.- LOL . Tmr and Thursday no papers ! = No school ! :P I can sleep as long as i want ! Friday was my last paper and im free , so total i've flunked my English , SS , History , D&T and Maths :/ Nice one .
I have loved you , in a heartbeat .
Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you .
Alright , no picture for today again because i still heavent get back my phone , so i cant take any pictures when im at Malaysia :/ Hmm , met Boonyong this morning , you know , before i going out , i called him and told him that i will be reaching at around 7.40am , and he told me lots of nonsense like what if i didnt reach in time and what should i do -__- Zzz , in the end i reached at 7.30am and he's late ! Okay , whatever , Emmeline came after that , slacked awhile more . And Boonyong is totally joker , me and Emmeline was laughing like some crazy girl . Went in to school after that , and again , i flunked my Maths paper :( I alrd flunked my English , History , SocialStudies and now Maths . And i bet that i confirm flunked my Chemistry and D&T tmr ! Because i dont understand a single shyt on this two subject :/ Sigh . Released at 11am today , its so early that me and Emmeline has no nowhere to go . So ended up the both of us followed YuXuan and Rachel to BukitGombak MacDonald for lunch , after that walked over to XiaoGuilin tgt to wait for Edison , Gavin , Jedrek and ZhangJian . They came and suppose to go for fishing , but in the end they was gambling -__- Me and Yuxuan was watching them gambling , Gavin was happily fishing at there with the small piece of bread hooking at the hook but with no fishing rod , so in the end he gave up and play with his TapTap , LOL ! Hmm , after that fun things happened though i kept shouting :/ Gavin and Zhangjian was asking me to stand on the board in the pond they use for sitting on it , while they hold it for me to help me balance . So i took out my shoe and socks , the moment i step on it and the board sink after that i fell -.- The stone in the pond hurts my foot ! :( But i continue playing , Gavin and Zhangjian continue to hold for me and i was at there shouting like mad while im holding both of their shoulders -.- So we kept on trying and trying , but failed cause the board kept sinking and they said i was too heavy though there's was three person holding on to the board . And , i break the board into half , LOL ! The purpose of them asking me to stand on the board was that they wanted me to like surfing , how cute of them right ? -.- Half of my skirt was wet and i sweat like hell too because i kept falling and run up to the stone and try again , they even went to the lower stone because its easier for them to hold the board , ended up they leave me in the pond without helping me up and scaring me that there's fish or whatever behind me in the water :@ But manage to get up to the ground myself ! :( Dry my leg , wear back my shoe and cab home . So freaking tired , bathe and everything . Haha , i took 4hours to post this :/ Zai right ? LOL !