♥ Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sometimes its hard to love someone because you're so afraid of losing them .
How do I say goodbye to someone I never really had ? Why do my tears fall so endlessly for someone who was never really mine ? Why is it I miss someone I was never really with ? And why do I love someone whose love was never really mine ?
Im back ! :D Hehe , alright , i can say that today's school was damn fun ! Especially maths lesson ! (Y) Trained to school today , meet Bokmay at Batok , saw Kristine on bus . Bused to school tgt , walk in to school with Yuanxin , Jane , XiaoQian , Bokmay and Kristine . Hmm , English lesson , CME and D&T . Did practical for D&T , my bulb can light up ! I thought i will failed :x Heheh , went to buy food and went up to class . Ate during maths lesson while that Chan dont even care at all ! (Y) So ate finish and was trying to listen in class , and just nice , Waichong threw the paper/tissue with water and it sticked on the projector screen , and Chan's reaction was damn funny ! And Edison follow next , play till no more paper -.- Me like so good go toilet take the whole roll of toilet paper give them play ! So the show starts ! :P I can say that after 2years , Chan finally gone crazy and became so violence ! :x I lecure her to the door by closing the door because she dont want the door to be closed for two times , she walked there and the war starts ! Omfg , damn funny+shocking ! My classmates even repeat the whole scence again that makes me laugh till stomach ache ! The story was damn long , so i dont feel like typing everything out if not my readers gonna fall asleep ! Hmm , after maths was Biology , teacher didnt came , and then History , teacher didnt came too . And the whole Biology & History periods , one and the half hour , Suiyang , Gavin and Edison was repeating the scence over and over again . I cant stop laughing even though they kept talking about it ! Alright , have to stop about today's maths lesson , totally crazy . Dismissed at 2.25pm , went out of school with Yuanxin & Bokmay and saw my trainer ( Jedrek ) ! And the Maths lesson topic starts again ! Chatted finish , Yuanxin and Bokmay went home . Continue sitting there with others , went to find Zhiyang at basketball court . He kept bully me ! :( Slacked and around 4pm bused to inter with Edison , asked him to pay for my bubble tea and he regret buying it for me because i was concentrating on sucking the pearls and didnt listen to what he said when he was talking to me . LOL ! :x Reached home , bathe and etc. Suppose to go for dinner with my parents which just came back from overseas :) But i was lazy so i stayed at home and asked them to packet for me ! :D Okay , i think today's post was quite long because of my craziest Maths lesson ever , lucky i didnt elaborate the whole story out :x Hmm :) Shall stop now ! :D
♥ Tuesday, March 30, 2010
If only I could turn back the hands of time and make it right this time , I would .
Letting go the one you love is the part of love , and its the biggest thing in the world which only you and your heart knows .
Back ! :D School like normal ! Trained to school alone , had assembly and went back to class for maths lesson . Listened awhile and half way through slept , Zhiyang texted me and went down to meet him awhile , disturb my sleep ! :( Chated till maths lesson over and went up to class , SS and SC next , recess , went back to class and had a " Pokeamon War " -.- My classmates should know what i mean ! :D Mother tongue , English and VE . Dismissed at 2.25pm , bused to JP with Kristine , Gina and Bokmay . They went to buy their tickets , foods and i bought my bubble tea and trained home alone . Raining and i was so cold in the bus and still im drinking my Milo Ice Blended :( Reached home , straight away use come . And i was so proud of myself that i actually can wake up on time despite me sleeping at 12plus last night ! :D Hehehe !
♥ Monday, March 29, 2010
Missing you isn't the hard part , knowing I once had you is what breaks my heart .
Its hard to prentend that you love someone when you dont , but its harder to pretend that you dont love someone when you do .
Back ! :D Im so so tired ! Hmm :) Trained to school alone , and i was like so "kiasu" , went out so early end up i have to wait for my friends like idiot -.- After flag raising went to DM's office , waited for my parents to come . And my parents makes me so embarass by shouting me " Girl ah " when there's so many late student there and they turn and looked at me ): Sigh , went in to principal's room and he have a talk with my parents . And i was so damn fed up ! My principal asked me to take out my phone , and asked why i didnt turn off my phone and also say what im waiting for people to msg me -.- ?! Wtf , and then he asked me to off my phone , and said this time counted as he confiscates my phone for one time . Wth ! He ownself want me take out now he said counted confiscates for one time !? Unreasonable right ! Went back to class after that , PE next , then recess , mother tongue , english , classmates go for IC and back to english . Waited for Twin in school to see her awhile , (L) , and then waited for Gina for detention . Her POA lesson ended and we went for dentetion till 5pm . Gina and me was like the only two person making a fool there , keep talking and laughing non stop . Bused to WM for mac and trained home , and now my brother was crying and shouting like fuck ! So damn irritating ! -.- Hmm , posted tmr ! :) Bye readers !
♥ Saturday, March 27, 2010
It's funny how a person can break your heart , and you can still love them with all the little pieces .
Letting go of your past and memories are also extremely hard . Even though old memories can be tormenting , yet you might hold on to the past and refuse to move forward . However , by refusing to let go of the painful past , it'll serve as a roadblock to love .
Im back ! :D Okay , was having my tuition just now , totally suck ttm . Mother and Father at home , walk pass the room and peeped , nag and nag -.- And finally they're out to work , end my tuition and went to use com . Webcaming while waiting for sister to finish her tuition ! :D Went out around 5plus , trained to Bugis with sister . She kept making me laugh on the train and she said i laughed and talked very loud -.- Ate and slacked at father's shop till 9plus , father drove us to fetch mother . Reached home , done everything and now posting . Hmm , should go to sleep now , mother nagging , again ! -.- Bye readers ! :)
♥ Thursday, March 25, 2010
I wish we could rewind time , not so I could change what happened , but just to be your whole world again .
Its the 26th , again :)
Why do people say loving so much makes you stupid ? Its because you'll always be wrong even if you're right , weak even if you're strong , you give without receiving , you cry and get hurt but still you say , " I Love You "
Back from school super early today ! :D Woke up and trained to school alone today , Yuanxin got on the same bus as me , walked to mama shop to meet Gina , waited for Kristine to come and walked in to school together . Had maths lesson for first period , sleep through for more than half a period , then went for D&T lesson , test , flunked it . Gonna have remedial and retest , dismissed at 10.30am . Suddenly dont feel like going for sports day anymore , called my mother and told her to write letter , bused home after that :) Cooked my noodles and i feel like puking after eating so much -.- LOL . Heheh , i got one secret , and that is i cant eat the whole packet/cup of chicken flavour noodles :/ I only can eat Curry , Tomyam and other noodles that are spicy . I dont know why too , whenever i eat half way of those non-spicy noodles , the smell makes me wanna puke -.- Lol , eat half way and pour everything away .
P.S. This post was on the 26th , not 25th . My computer abit sot ):
----------------------------------------------------
Please leh , dont fucking accuse me when you dont even know the whole story can ?! And me and her was a misunderstanding because of some lifeless people , you think i would bad mouth people for nothing or issit i bad mouth people just because im unhappy with that matter ? Dont be lame please , how long have you known me alrd ? You should know me clearer than anyone else , yes , i admit i may be flirt to you . But hey , you dont even know a single thing , i didnt even notice that the person was there till i walked far away and turn my head to their direction . I said that because i really find it that way , you dont even know what happen on that night ! If you were there , you should understand why would i said that . Sigh , disappointed . Just straight tell me in my face if you're not happy , you talk bad things about me behind my back will makes you feel better issit ? Then go ahead , that makes you even more childish :) To think that i still thought so highly and respect you so much , in the end ? Sigh ..
♥ Thursday, March 25, 2010
It's time for me to fix myself whom i am with for the past years of my life .
Most Of The Time Goodbye Means Its The End , But Sometimes Goodbye Give The Courage To Say It Only Just Began .
Back ! :D Okay , i finally told my parents the truth yesterday about asking people to fake as my mother , didnt take and form and etc. My mother didnt scold me , instead , she hugged me and comfort me * touched * and helped me signed my report book alrd ! :D A big big thankyou to Elaine&Adeline ! :) Hmmm , trained to school alone today , met Bokmay at mama shop . Walked in to school and helped her to spray her hair to black , but my spraying skills sucks ): Sorry , hehehe . Then went to DM's office after flag raising because Bokmay wanna have her hair check done , and me wanna change the number of my "mother's" to my real mother's , my hair get caught too -.- Blame me for so stupid standing under sunlight . Get form again and went back to class , did finish my maths work and use Bokmay's phone to facebook ! Hehe :D But tired and went to sleep after that . After maths was chemistry , continue with my sleep , woke up and copy answer then watch video . History next , totally sucks big time -.- Wasting our time and said we was wasting your time ?! -.- Joker . Recess , ate and went back to class for free period ! :D Using time for iTouch and Suiyang and Jedrek came to disturb me after that -.- After free period was mother tongue lesson . Listen for the first period , and get tired so sleep awhile . Woke up and was dismissed , went over to opposite coffee shop for lunch with Kristine , Yuanxin and Bokmay . Suiyang , Gavin and Jedrek came after that , three of them totally joker , disturb the china guy like mad . Went back to school around 3plus for my detention with Kristine . But no teacher was in the class ?! -.- Waited for half an hour and DM asked us to go to office , took our photo , me and Kristine was like so shy only , i covered my face and DM actually said " okay , took it alrd , done . " and asked us go home , wth ): Confirm unglam ! Bused home after that , was chatting on MSN with Jonathan , Jocelyn and Erwin , jokers ! Made me laugh like omg :D Tmr sports day @ BukitBatok stadium ): Why not CCK stadium ! Near my house leh , so that i dont need to take a long ride home after that -.- Lol , okay , im lazy :P Btw , photos of me , Yuanxin and Bokmay are uploaded below ! :D
♥ Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself .If you love something , let it go . If it comes back to you , it's yours , if it doesn't , it never was , and it's not meant to be . I broke down in school today , again . Today was totally sucks ttm ! Woke up in the morning and trained to school , meet Gina and Bokmay at mrt control station , saw Kristine and pulled her to wait for Gina with me and Bokmay . And by the time we reached school , we was late . So we wanna " GeiKiang " pon late , we bused back to WM for breakfast @ Mac . Ate finish and bused back to school . We signed and wanted to went back straight to class , but in the end Gina and Kristine decided and went to get late form while me and Bokmay went back class straight . When Gina came back , she told me that DM found out that me and Bokmay didnt get the form and went back to class because one of the teacher saw us and told the DM . Thought that nothing would happen , but recess time the DM asked me and Bokmay to go to DM office . Contact lens get caught again , just nice Principal walked pass , and he was like so kaypo ! Wanted to meet our parents , the worst thing is , my mother tongue/DM teacher actually one to one talk with me that make me almost burst out to tears . Stay in the office for some time when Bokmay has alrd went back to class for quite long time . Asked people to help , and to think that my DM told that person about my results and how much changes i've made this year from last year . Seriously , think back , i did change alot . My mother tongue teacher asked me issit about my relationship or friends , i denied in the first place , but after asking and talking so much , i told him the truth . He told me that my attendance and performance was very good last year , but i've changed so much now . Indeed , i didnt late more than 5times last year , i didnt because of alittle bit of sickness and stayed at home and not going to school . And finally , my first yellow form was this year on today . I really cant believe it , this year is the year that i've get lots and lots of forms . Blue(discipline) , Pink(late) and now Yellow(offences) , sigh . Gotten my detention today , tmr and monday , and was found out that i skipped detention once . Get blue form and went back to class , talked to Edison and i was like cannot take it and finally i burst out crying . After school , went to eat and stayed back , 4pm start my detention with Kristine and Gina , ended at 5pm . Cab home with a tired face on me . Tmr gonna have another detention again , and monday there's one more . Now , how am i going to find any adult that willing to help me ? Principal wanna meet my parents , and DM even printed out my results ! FUCK DAMN IT ! I HATE THIS YEAR TTM !P.S , i've gotten all the pictures that me , Bokmay and Yuanxin went to town like finally . Will post up in next post because im currently using another laptop :)
♥ Monday, March 22, 2010
The hardest thing to do is waking up without you .
I cry because I know he doesn't feel the way I do . I cry because I think of how pathetic I am , and I cry because I think there's impossible between us .
I just woke up from my beautiful sleep ! :D Anw , school wasn't that great for me today ): Because , i hate school !! Didnt have hair check today because my form teacher didnt come today ! :) But there's skirt check tmr ): Anw , trained to school today . Met Gina , Steven and XiaoQian at back gate because they wanna spray their hair to black , in the end there's no hair check -.- Hmm , Biology lesson , did worksheet and chit chat . PE lesson next , suppose to run 8rounds , in the end was laughing away with Yuanxin . Me and Yuanxin still left 3 rounds , complained to teacher this and that , in the end my PE teacher said if i can run 1round continously , i can stop alrd :D Hehe , so ran 1 round , and im done ! Recess , ate and went back to class . Mother tongue lesson , slept while teacher was explaing smth , woke up by teacher to do work . Did finish , yet i didnt have to mood to sleep anymore -.- Spoilt my mood ! English lesson next , teacher didnt come . Two free periods ! :D Didnt have the mood to do work , teach Yuanxin how to win people in tic tac toe , LOL ! She mastered my skills ! Wahaha ! :D Me tio prank call and Yuanxin scold that person till so funny , LOL . Finally after school , stay back in school for mother tongue project . Interviewed some teachers and Sharil was the first student we interview , we interview him at library , and Yuanxin , Edison and Sharil was totally joker while Steven was video-ing , alot of NG videos in Yuanxin's phone , im laughing like mad . LOL . Raining heavily after that ): Chiong under rain and went to coffee shop with Edison , Stevn and Sharil to meet a crazy guy for awhile . My hair was wet like dont know what , and then bused home with Edison :D Straight went to my parents bed to sleep -.- , i was mad tired . Woke up and im having running nose -.- Wth . Okay , gotta cook my maggie now , im hungry ! :D
♥ Sunday, March 21, 2010
I will love you until my heart stops beating .
Maybe crying is a means of cleaning yourself out emotionally , or maybe its your communication of last resort ; the only way to express yourself when words fail the same as when you were a baby and had no words .
Im so tired now ): Gotta sleep early today . School's tmr , ): Sigh , hair check and everything again . Anw , woke up by my mother as she asking me whether i want to go out with them anot . So wake up and prepared , went out at 12plus going 1pm . Father drove us to Bugis first , settle their goods and drove us to FE , father went to shop while me , sister , brother and mother went to ION to buy Mango T-shirt as sister want . Bought one tanktop from Mango too , and then headed to Wisma for my BEBE T-shirt ! ^^ Bought and walked back to FE , leave there around 4plus going 5 , father drove us to cck for buffet . I didnt eat much , while my sister ... -.- I was so freaking full , leave there around 6plus going 7pm . Reached home , bathe and everything . Prepared for school tmr ): I dont wanna go school ! Stress coming , again ..
♥ Saturday, March 20, 2010
Loving you was my favorite mistake .
Maybe it is time for me to move on but i cant because im still clinging to that very thin line of a chance that maybe someday i will be with you .
Currently feeling so cold now ): School starting soon and yet my report book heavent let my parents sign yet , i dont even dare to bring it infront of them -.- Like i failed all the subjects ?! You know , my mother was nagging at me for how lazy i am and how bad was my result . She said if i retain this year i can forget about attending to school , i might as well quit school . And im thinking whether should i just quit school now , but i dont dare to bring it up to my parents . Later they @#$%^$#^ at me . Lol ): I like so damn stress this year , maybe is because this year is important or what ? Im like seriously damn pig nowadays , always sleep till late after like 2-3plus or even later like 4plus then i wake up . How am i going to school on monday ): Sigh . God damn it , i want back my perfect life ! ):
♥ Thursday, March 18, 2010
Love doesnt make the world go round . Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. I love you so much that i did so many silly things but you never feel that I love you . I don't know why , let's just hope that one day you will know how much I love you . But maybe when the day you realise it , I may not be beside you anymore . Why cant you just feel it ? Hmm , woke up in the late afternoon like 2plus . Used com awhile and went to prepared . Went out around 4pm , trained to JP to collect my phone and took money from my aunt . Trained back to Yewtee to meet my sister awhile while waiting for Jocelyn and Waichong . Sister went in for her English tuition and i went to meet them , cab to Limbang coffee shop . MarcusTeo , Erwin , Jonathan and Nicholas came next . Suppose to walk to stagmont , but me , Jocelyn and Waichong cab there , and i all the way was like extra only ! -.- Reached there and wait for others as they walked to stagmont . Qilong and Kok Hwee came afterwards , start drinking and im the first one to feel giddy -.- ?! And just when im going to finish the first bottle of TigerBeer , left abit and Qilong pour it away :@ Slacked till 11.30pm and went home , headache like mad ): Bathe and everything . And i was like so happy that finally my phone was being repaired , i dont need to ranted over that i couldn't charge my phone ^^ Hmm , i still didnt get the photos from Yuanxin yet as she heavent upload to my facebook ): Will get it asap ! :)
♥ Thursday, March 18, 2010
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew . I've learnt a lot of things from you , those words has become my favourite phrase and made me become alone . I mumble those words like a fool again and again when i miss you too much .Tired day today ! Hmmm :) Woke up at 10plus to get prepared , father request to drove me and Yuanxin to FE ^^ (Y) So father drove over to Yuanxin's place and pick her up , headed to FE after that . Went to bought her stuffs , after that went for lunch . Continue shop around while waiting for Bokmay as she wanted to meet us , meet Bokmay and continue with our shopping . They both like joker only :/ Tired of walking around at FE , so walked to Wisma to find one very cute aunty ^^ Ate some snacks and headed to ION , shop around and both of them wanted to find StarBucks but cant find , till i saw the StarBucks logo reflection at the glass while im walking , pro right :D Went to StarBucks , saw Amos :) Sat alittle while and went over to Amos's shop to disturb him , hmmm :/ Had fun laughing away too :) Slacked around there till 9plus , mother called and asked me to go to Bugis and find them , so they can fetch me home . So trained to Bugis , waited for parents to settle their settlements and they drove me home ^^ Pictures will be upload soon when i get the pictures from Yuanxin :D Stay tunes k ! :)
♥ Monday, March 15, 2010
Its not who you think is the right one , but the one who will fit in the missing piece of your heart .True love is between two people . Unrequited love is the love of the broken hearted . Unrequited love will never be true love , not as long as the other person does not love you back .
Alright , im just done showering ! :D Hmm , woke up late today :/ Prepared and bused to Yewtee , cab to school and i was late for SS lesson -.- Actually was going to meet some friends for breakfast ): But , my Mac gone because i was late , LOL ! Reached school , went up to class , instead of studying , Jedrek&Edison was disturbing me , they drew the phyduck and they claimed that thats me because my voice sounds like duck -.- The other picture that the front tooth was VERY BIG -.- They were drawing about Steven , LOL ! Lesson ends earlier than we expected , so bused to IMM with Gina , Edison , Jedrek & Steven . And on the bus , the three guys was making fun of me ! Saying about phyduck and talking about Pokemon ! -.- And they also said smth like " Phyduck , i choose you ! " & " Returns " LOL ! And saying how AUTO was phyduck is because he kept coming out without choosing him or whatever . Making me laugh like mad ! Reached IMM , went to have our lunch at LongJohn :) And they continued making fun about phyduck whenever i say smth -.- Lol ! Ate finish , walked to CJ as Jedrek want to have his phone repair , but they moved to JurongPoint -.- Took shulter bus to Jurong , Jedrek was like so Guailan ! Keep prank people ! -.- went to Jurong library , continue prank -.- But we get bored after that , so was talking about our school matters . The idiotic thing is , they make fun of me falling down in the school hall infront of the whole class ! ): Omg ! So embarassing loh ! After that bused to JurongPoint to meet friends , went seperate way . Went to my shop awhile , then train home alone after that . Reached home , bathe and changed . Went out with parents to FarEast , and then JurongPoint , again -.- Sent my phone for repair , like finally ! :D Bought the shoe i always wanted to buy it but no time , wanted to buy my iTouch too ): But we was shopping around in NTUC and its getting late ): So forget it , next time maybe . Father drove us home after that , posting now :) Alright , im having headache ! Bye readers ! :)Im sorry , really very extremely sorry !
♥ Saturday, March 13, 2010
Relationships are like glass . Sometimes its better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself by putting it back together .
Its the SecondMonth .
I try my hardest to stay away from you , to keep you out of my mind . But it seems as if the harder i try , the more it doesn't works .
Back to post ! :) Was having fun playing some lame application on FaceBook with MarcusTeo like mad , and i was laughing away -.- Okay , enough . I almost forgot that i've got a SS remedial tmr ): Maybe meeting clique for breakfast before going to school , nicenice (Y) ^^ Heheh , just done with my mask , feel so refreshing now . You know what , i cant find my phone's warranty card ): How am i going to repair my phone ! Diedie , i almost cried out like a freak yesterday when i cant charge my phone . Its like when i plug in my charger , awhile later can charge , then when i put down my phone onto the surface , it cant be charge anymore -.- Sometimes when my phone shows that it can be charge , and one hour later i went to check on my phone whether issit done charging , i realise that all along my phone wasn't charging at all though it shows that it was charging . Fed up right ! :@ And now i cant find my warranty card ! Anrgy or not ! ): I like very very long didnt listen to those songs in my phone alrd , and very very long didnt listen to songs while going to school in the morning and in class ): Plus my mother make my iTouch "lost" ! Argh ! Anw , my father cook the dish that i like today again ^^ Hohozxc , im gonna eat alot alot later :D
---------------------------------
我突然觉得很累,很想放弃但却又舍不得。如果有一天我把你从特别的位置移走了,如果有一天我把我们的回忆删除了,如果有一天我能再次地接受另一个爱情,这就表示我已经把你忘掉了。可是,那一天什么时候才会到?已经两个月了,我还是没有办法把你忘掉。人家说,你的爱情持续多久,被受伤的那个就需要多久来忘记这段可怕的爱情。如果放手会比较好过的话,为什么我还是放不下?我在学校每天装作若无其事,很开心的样子,只是不想让身边的朋友担心。但是看来,我开心或伤心也不会再有人理会了,我现在完全分不清楚什么是真,什么是假。我用微笑来掩饰我的悲伤,我把自己搞得遍体鳞伤就只是因为想努力地忘掉你。可是为什么你那么难忘?我连想向你解释的勇气都没有,哪有勇气去面对一切。我想你一定不能体会我现在的心情吧,因为你正在享受你现在的快乐生活 :)
♥ Friday, March 12, 2010
Sometimes I wonder in the blink of an eye , would you be willing to love me again
不知道你还记不记得“爱一直存在”。
每当我听见这首歌的时候,我就会想起我们曾经拥有的美好回忆。
可是不管你还记不记得,我知道我们的爱已经不存在了。
Just back from Yewtee :) School issn't that good for me today , i was damn tired in the morning that i almost late . I sleep for every lesson today , so pro right ! :D Last lesson get back our report book , and when i get back my report slip , i was so shocked that i shouted " Walao eh , why like that ! " to my form teacher ): You know what , i get all ' U ' except for mother tongue ! Sigh , my form teacher told me that if i continue getting this kind of result i might retain , omg ! ): * Sad ! * I must study hard alrd ! Finally dismissed , walked to bus stop , i dont want to go home alone . So called my father and asked him to come fetch me from school , and just nice that my parents not working today , father asked me to wait for him outside school -.- Walked back to school gate , called Edison up and asked him where is he since he coming back to school to take his report book . Waited for him and meet him outside school , went in to school with him , Jedrek and Steven . But they are not in school uniform , cant go in , helped them to call form teacher but didnt pick up -.- Stayed at the guard post for awhile while the security helped them call DM and our form teacher . Father came , so i gave them the number and went off . Hmm , asked father to drove me to BukitPanjang to buy my contacts , bought and went home . Reached home , eat and get prepared , father drove me , mother and sister to Yewtee . Father drop me and mother down while fetching my sister to her friend's house . Mother want to have her hair cut and do treatment , and i find that my fringe had grow long alrd , so wanted to trimed my hair and fringe too . The hair dresser told me that my hair quite dry due to upteen times of dying hair . So i wanted to do treatment for my hair too , hohozxc ! Father and sister came later , done with my hair and waited for mother's . After that went to YewTee point to bought my facial things and father drove us home :) My father told me that he wanna go to IMM later to sign up the plan for my sister's phone and change his phone , and i told my father that i wanna follow . So he told me this " You dont think i dont know what you are thinking ok , you want follow cause you want me to buy iTouch for you right . " LOL ! He can read my mind ! ): But he agreed to it ! :) I think i also wanna ask my father to buy me a personal laptop -__- , i've spent his money too much today , its like over $200 alrd . And now my father told me that ask me to bring my phone for repair , and then give him my phone after repairing and he will get a new phone for me ! :D * Happy happy ! * But i dont feel like giving him my phone because i like my camera quality -.- And i've decided to dye my hair again after the March holiday ! :) My mother said after dying my hair she will bring me for hair treatment again ! :D Nicenice ! :) Alright , got to fetch my brother back from school alrd ! Bye readers ! :D
--------[Edited]--------
Im so damn fucking angry right now ! I swear i would never go shopping with my mother again ! God damn it ! My father had alrd agreed to buy me my iTouch , and my mother kpkb at my father till he walked off and dont buy for me ! I was alrd damn unhappy about him not getting me my new phone , and now my mother making it worst ! Fuck it .
Perhaps the greatest joy and pain that life can give me is to meet you but never have the opportunity to receive your love .
♥ Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Its not how long we stayed together that matters , but how deep we loved each other even for the shortest time we've spent together .
How much more time do i need to heal my wound :/
Memories ALWAYS flashed back whenever i heard that song when we're tgt , even though i tried not to think about it .
Anw , went to school alone today as i need some time alone to think about smth , first time you know ! I always want people to accompany me to school everyday , this is the first time i request going to school myself . Improved ! (Y) Met Bokmay and Yuanxin at mama shop , walked in to school with Yuanxin while Bokmay went to wait for Gina . Raining in the morning , makes me feel sleepy in class today , and i sleep till like so comfortable ! :D I drank the whole bottle of GreenTea while walking in to school and reached class , feel like going to toilet but i bear with it because i was too lazy to get up from my sleep and went to the toilet :/ So , whatever , recess time , ate and went up to hall for class photo taking . Then went back to class for maths lesson , again . Got back our test paper , i failed like .... -.- cmi . Funniest thing was Kristine's paper , she wrote so many nonsense and hand it up . Quarreling with teacher to get back my friend's paper , funny ! Biology lesson next , busy copying the notes to my new note book and then copied the answer for worksheet . History next , did some work and dismissed . Bused over to lot1 with Gina for lunch at KFC , Jane and XiaoQian came later . Ate and bused home , while others went to YewTee Point for Gina's IC photo . Its like not fair , Yuanxin and Gina so fast got the letter alrd , while i have to wait till August or September on last year before i can get my IC ! :@ And i always like to "haolian" my IC to them because they dont have ! :P But now cant anymore -.- LOL !
-----------------
Wonder when will i really be fine , everything just doesn't went to the way i wanted . I walked back to our memories and tested myself whether i would teared again , its almost , but i controlled it from rolling down my cheecks , and so i did it . Maybe its just temporary , it may not last , or maybe its just for this time . Who knows when next time round i walked back to our memories , i wouldn't teared again . Im finally being quite independent nowadays beause of you and friends , because ,
I always want friends to go to the toilet with me even though i just want to wash my hands , but for now , i went alone .
I always want Kristine to go to school with me in the morning , but for today , im requesting to go to school alone .
I always want people to accompany me to take the same bus when going back home , but for now , i dont mind taking bus alone .
I always want people to late for school with me , but for now , i dont mind being late myself .
I always want friends to go outside the classroom with me standing at the door or the corridor , but for now , i would rather stand outside alone .
I always want to follow Kristine wherever she go , but for now , i will walk seperate way with her if we doesnt want to go to the same place .
I always want at least a friend to went to another friend's seats in class with me whenever i want to talk to a person or ask smth , though its in class , i just want someone to accompany me , but for now , i will go alone .
I always want friend to go up to the teacher to ask for smth with me , but for now , i went up alone .
I dont know why i would become like this too , this year really changed me alot . I really miss those times in 2009 , im much happier than this year , seriously . I tried not to let the memories flash back , i tried to let our memories fade away , i tried to let my feelings towards you fade away , i tried to change myself to a better person , i tried ! I really did tried ! But whenever i told my friends that im really trying , they would always answer me saying that , " yes , you did , but you didnt try hard enough . " Why ? Why do people always answered me that when they dont know how much effort i've alrd put in ? Why do they always said that im not trying hard enough ? Why ? I know all of you had been giving me many chances because all of you said that i deserve to get another chance , you all believe that i'll change thats why i deserved it . Sometimes things doesn't really go the way i wanted , but i've never been like this before . Im getting more and more absurd , i took everything for granted because i always get what i want . I dont know how to cherish things and friends around me because all of you are giving me chances again and again to make me feel that its okay to did the wrong things again because im getting another chance anyway . But after all these incidents happened , i realise that im wrong . I start to cherish things around me , i've learnt my lesson after i lost my Love and friends . And finally , i realised that friends are more important than love , people always likes to ask this question , " If you have to choose between friends and love , which one will you choose ? " And i would answered , " Huhh , i dont know , can choose both ? " But , if people ask me this question again , i would definitely answer them , " Friends of course . " Friends are for a life time , they always be there for you whenever you're down or happy , they always share happiness with you . Love cant last forever , maybe to some people yes , but to me , i dont believe in forever . Love are come and go , when guys wants to woo you , they did everything to make you happy and touched , but when their feeling faded , they would just dumped you aside . Friends dont , thats was only my opinion , i dont know whats other people's thinking . If only i could turn the hand of time , i would rather choose to stay in the year of 2009 , stop at every moment because im enjoying my perfect life . Im really getting very tired and sick alrd , wont you all feel tired at all ? I feel like throwing everything aside and sleep all the way , the best way for me to escape reality was sleeping . I would dream of things i wanted in real life , and it always seems so real that i really dont want to wake up . Yes , like what you've said , enough is enough , everything its the past now . Because you finally get what you want and i dont , sometimes i was thinking alone that , issit my fault ? Sometimes i regret for talking to you at first , if i didnt talked to you , all these heartbreaks wont happen at all . And i wont get to know your friends and lose my friends , but sometimes , i thought that it could also be a nice thing because i finally learnt how to cherish things and not take things for granted . At least we once had a beautiful memories , because of these memories , i think that everything is worth it . Its my fault and own wrong doings for all these , wonder when will everything be back to normal again ...
I was never one to patiently pick up those brokens heart and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended one was as good as new . What is broken is broken , i'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken ones as long as I lived .
♥ Tuesday, March 09, 2010
There's always going to be people that hurt you , so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time round .Currently so fed up now ! :@ Argh . Anw , father fetch me to school today ! :) Reached school and went to find Gina and Jane first while waiting for others to come . Had assembly , after assembly went back to class for Maths lesson . So damn funny making fun of that maths teacher :D Hmm , SS and Chemistry , then recess . Mother tongue free period , teacher didnt come , played true or dare with Gina and Bokmay and we create trouble for pranking people , LOL ! English and VE , skip the VE lesson as teacher didnt come , slacked at concourse and discussed about where should we go -.- And the people we pranked called us back and all of us take turn to scold , like so lame only ! Hmm , bused to Jurong Point after that , went over to my parents shop to take money as im broke :/ Went up to cinema , watched Being Human , not bad ? :) Till around 7pm , Jane , Xiao Qian and Steven went home first . Left me , Gina , Bokmay and Darren , went to my shop awhile first then went over to LongJohn for dinner . Trained home after that , had mood swing suddenly ._. Walked back home from Yewtee station , the breeze like cooling only ! :D Hmm , actually im just summarise everything up , im lazy to post a long long post as my mother was nagging at me -.- So , bye readers ! :)
The best gift in life is being loved
♥ Monday, March 08, 2010
Sometimes love has come our way for us to learn something , not for us to own something .
Had a damn bad bad day today ): I was having my stomach cramps in the morning , so i slept for the whole Biology lesson and i didnt copy all the answers that teacher wrote down on the board . PE was next , which makes my day totally sucks ttm ! ): Its my turn for shulter run , and i dont know why or how the hell i ran -.- , itried to control myself from falling down but in the end i failed -.- so i fell down infront of the whole class like so embarassing only ! Omg ): And now my hand hurts alot alot ! Argh . Whatever issit , recess after that , didnt eat at all . Went back to class , had mother tongue lesson , also sleep throughout the whole lesson . Im so tired ! English was next , did abit of copying and dismissed . Bused to WM with Yuanxin and Bokmay , we were talking about our sec1s memories ! Reached and thought of eating PizzaHut , in the end we realise that WM doesn't have ): So went to eat MosBurger instead , joking and laughing away about some movie . Went up to buy smth and went off , trained back home . And my father just reached home from GuangZhou ! :D Im now pestering him to buy a new phone for me -.- My phone spoilt again :x Hohozxc ! Im a professional phone-spoiler ! :D To sumarise everything up , my phone always spoiled when i heavent even used it for half a year -.- I thought that i take note of my phone everytime to prevent from being sloten because my phone was being stolen for 3times , but instead of being stole , it spoiled EVERYTIME ! -.- Even if i took good care of it , it still spoiled , i dont know why though :/ My father told me that i was too rough , LOL ! Im thinking of what SonyEricsson phone should i buy :/ Teeheezxc ! :D
I love you and I will tell you everyday , everyday until you forget those things that hurts . I hate things that makes you hurt and how I wish I could take them away . If only it could be done , I'll do it for sure , but it cannot be done because you won't let me do it .
♥ Sunday, March 07, 2010
I don't know if I'm getting over you , or just getting used to the pain .
Im back to post now ! :D Just reached home not long ago :) Hmm , i woke up late today :x I should be waking up at 9.30am today , but i press the snooze button on my phone for upteen times and woke up at 11 :x So get up and get prepared , went out at 12pm . Trained to Jurong to meet Gine and Jane at IMM , had my lunch+breakfast at MosBurger , Darren and Steven came later . Went over to Jurong library to study , and i only did ONE maths question and i was slacking away alrd -.- Said study in the end never , omg :/ Sigh , went out of the library at around 4plus . Trained to Jurong Point , had KFC as dinner and after that they went to eat Durian like wtf ! I hate Durian ! And they purposely let me smell it make me so fed up and i walked away :@ Hmm , walked around and Jane went home first . Continue walking around at Jurong Point , jokes and everything . Bused back to lot with others , Darren get down first and followed by Gina . So left me and Steven , he's so damn noisy and irritating ! Lol , kept giving me that gay voice and face ! -.- Lol , reached home around 8plus , bathe and etc. And i found out smth that makes me somehow abit angry ! Dont wish to elaborate it -.- Alright , gtg now :) Bye readers !
Sometimes people may ask you this question , " Why ? Why do you love him ? " And the only answer i may be able to come up with is , " I don't know , I just love him alot . "
♥ Saturday, March 06, 2010
Our paths are different now and our love is not possible anymore .
Im so freaking bored at home now ! ); So damn fed up with my phone , i cant even charge it ! Might be sending for repair or so , had tuition just now , but most of the time im craping away because i wanted to waste the tuition time , LOL ! Went to sleep after tuition , woke up by my mother -.- She actually off my air-con because she knew that i will wake up immediately if i didnt want to get up from my bed . Hmm , Gina was asking me whether me and her should dye our hair again because its not equal and doesnt looks obvious ): So , im thinking whether should i dye again ? :/ Spoilt my hair you know ! ): If i dye again , this year is my 5th time dying my hair alrd -.- Lol . Will be going study with my clique tmr ^^ Its been so long since we study tgt right ? :D Hehezxc !
Its alrd March of 2010 , nothing has changed or improving at all . Im not the ZhenRu like last year anymore ,
The one that always stay hyperactive and happy every single day ,
The one that loved by everyone ,
The one that has no problems at all ,
The one that changes the mood immediately from sad to happy once things are being solved ,
The one that doesnt cause any troubles for friends ,
The one that always get what i want ,
The one that always surrounded by a group of super nice friends ,
The one that get sastisfied easily ,
The one that always have friends around to solve my problems and listening to my complains ,
The one that always stay strong no matter what happens ,
The one that always has a smile on my face and its from the bottom of my heart ,
The one that always laugh so hard and loud like nobody business with friends ,
And the one that is really happy every single day .
Everything is so different now , things are opposite with all the facts i mentioned about myself above . This year is seriously damn sucky for me , everytime i would thought myself that how i wish time could turn back to 2009 , last year . Im really very happy last year , i smile from the bottom of my heart , didnt have any problems or troubles at all . Sigh , when can everything change for the better ? People says , what goes around comes around & as time goes by , things will be better . But , how long must i have to wait ? Im getting sick and tired of everything alrd , like seriously .
You choose to believe what she said than mine , i didnt voice out every single thing because i dont want to spoilt your relationship now . I just hope that you will wake up from your dream , realise that who's the one that lies and who's the one telling you the truth yet being accused . Sigh .
Sometimes no matter how hard and impossible it is , we still do these some things . Not because we dont have a choice but because we want and we love to .
♥ Friday, March 05, 2010
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars , you have to let go at some point in order to move forward .
Hmm , just finished eating my dinner ! :D Had a same routine today ! Woke up and get prepared , but i was very very tired in the morning , till i even thought of skipping school but there's nowhere i can go -.- So no choice , meet Kristine and bused to school together with her :) Had maths test today , first lesson . But i was seriously damn fed up with that maths teacher ! Let me tell you what , i DIDNT really joined the table together with Yuanxin , there's a gap there ok ! And we was listening to songs , she asked us to take it out because test was starting soon . So , we took it out , i was doing my test while Yuanxin was happily writing about how much she detest our maths teacher on the test paper on purpose to let her see it . I did most of it , but gave up in the end because i didnt have the mood to do as i was texting on phone -.- My maths teacher came over and wanted to took my phone away , but i told her she was very irritating , and i did finished my test paper alrd ! I know it was wrong to use phone in class , plus its a test somemore , but because i just want to provoke her ! :P So keep my phone , she walked away and i took it out again to sms . Continue listen to songs with Yuanxin , she keep asked us to took out our earpiece , we took it out and put it back awhile later , keep repeating the same thing ! But after test , i purposely put Yuanxin's paper on the first one and gave it to her ! :D She didnt had any reaction but smiling over there ._. , and her smile was really disgusting ! Yuanxin talked to her in a very rude way , she smiled ! And i was laughing and shouting to her that her smile was disgusting enough to cause me nightmare at night ! -.- After test i went outside the class to the toilet without her permission , just nice Emmeline was inside toilet too , went back to class with her after that , and when i went back to class , my maths teacher saw me coming in and told me that i didnt ask for her permission and went out of the class . So she wrote my name on the calss diary -.- , i went up to her and tell her why she wrote my name . She used her hand to cover it like so lame only ! Emmeline told her that she dare to write dont dare to let us see because her name was on the diary too , we both get so fed up and shouted at her , she said we was scolding her -.- I told her that i only raised my voice and raised my voice doesnt means scolding her, its alrd very good that i didnt scolded vulgars to her ! Lol ! But in the end she really got on my nerves and i shouted vulgars to her -.- Me and Emmeline was taking turn to scold her there but she keep move away because she cant take it as my voice was too sharp when i shout . Lol -.- And the funniest thing was Edison took the diary and gave it to Waichong because Waichong's name was on it too as he was being sabo-ed by one of my classmate . Waichong actually liquid-ed away our name and Edison put the diary back , LOL ! Our maths teacher didnt even realised it -.- Idiot . And finally maths lesson was over , DnT was next , but teachers didnt came . So had 3 free periods ! :D Spent first period sleeping as i was really very tired , woke up by dont know who , and i was happily playing Gina's iTouch alone sitting on the table like so fun only ! -.- Recess after that , and then SS . Kristine got so high at SS lesson that makes me , Yuanxin and Gina laughed like mad . After school cab over to buy Hair dye at BukitBatok with Gina , Bokmay and Steven . Packet food to Bokmay's house , i was eating and Gina and Steven was snatching over Bokmay's computer like small kid ! Ate finished and went inside to join them snatching the desktop because i wanted to play Audition too -.- After that helped Gina to dyed her hair , and she help me dyed mine . Played Audition while waiting , after that Bokmay helped me to washed my hair ! :D Dryed my hair and continue with my Audition , Lol . Me and Gina was jealous of Bokmay's hair colour ! ): Like so nice only ! Mine like not even obvious at all , just abit lighter than my previous colour ! ): * Sad ! * Bused over to WestMall at 4pm to meet Jane and Darren , then bused to Jurong point . Walked around for not even 1 hour and i trained back home alrd -.- Reached home , bathe and ate my dinner , posting right now ! :) Alright , im off to Audition now ! :D
Its a horrible thing to see your lost love walk past you with another girl , and its the worst thing to know that you made a mistake in letting them go .
♥ Thursday, March 04, 2010
If love is pain , then pain is what you need to feel that you are with the person you love .Im very very tired now ! ): Sighsigh , school was like normal only . Woke up and get prepared , meet Kristine at cck inter and bused to school with her . Im like so tired and i was sleeping at the hall when they was having some talk , sleep till when its time to go back class i still sitting there sleep like so ps only ! ): Went back to class after that , Maths lesson , listening to songs with Yuanxin . Chemistry , sleeping all the way till teacher asked me to wake up -.- Hmm , history and recess . Didnt eat , but went to packet food to class last minute with Yuanxin . Ate at class and watch classmates play cards , i laugh like mad only when they disturb Suiyang making his castle using poker cards ! Chinese lesson , sleep also , i seriously dont know why im so tired ! Argh ! After school slacked awhile and bused back home , and now im so freaking tired yet i dont know why , and im feeling so fcuk up now due to something . Argh !! ): Help me !! Sigh , i think after eating my maggie i want go sleep ! :D
My heart says to slow down , take one step at a time , but never stop stepping .