♥, Zhenru @undescribablelov-e
I'll be strong and hold back my tears, because i know no matter how hard i cry , this love is not coming back anymore.
With loves,♥
Me, Myself & I
" I learned that it is the weak who are cruel , and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong . Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity. "
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♥ Saturday, January 30, 2010
Who should i believe now ?
Okay , im just back from Bugis ! (: Woke up at 10plus today cause i receive msg from Xiangling . Text her till 11plus , went to bathe and prepared for tuition . Half way through tuition was texting Xinyi , Kristine and Xiangling ._. After tuition was around 2plus , get everything done and went out at 3plus . Met Xinyi at cck , trained to meet Xiangling and she get on the train when we reached batok . Trained to bugis with Xinyi and Xiangling , get money from my father and shop around for awhile while waiting for Kristine to came over to Bugis and meet us . Okay , today i was seriously laughing away although all of us was talking things about my problem mostly . Was texting Zi Ang all the way at Bugis , or can i say whole day , talking about my problems again . Met Kristine around 5plus , and we ate our lunch tgt . After that went to shop and walk around , and around 8plus , my mood starts to get worst . I dont even have the mood to talk at all , meet some friends at Bugis . And my classmate told me smth that i cant believe and take it , i dont know who should i believe and what exactly happen now . Went to arcade with friends/classmate awhile , then others went back at 9pm while i went over to my shop and find my father cause i lazy take train home as it will remind me lots of memories . I cant believe i was so quiet at my shop and didnt even talk more than 20 sentences . Father fetch me back at 10plus when shop closed , and Zi Ang was so fierce in sms that spoilt my mood >;( Sigh . Alright , off to msn now ! (: I dont know why , i always want to go to Xiangling whenever i need a listener or a heart talk -.- Okay , bye .
♥ Friday, January 29, 2010
I really need a listener ):
Im back ! Okay , school not really that good for me today ): Woke up as usual today , but purposely late for school because i dont really feel like going school in the morning and even had the intention of skipping school . But , Kristine doesnt want , so bused to school like around 7plus . Reached school at 7.30 or later . Took form and went to perade square to have silent reading , but i was so damn tired that i slept and other people was reading . Teacher caught and asked me wake up ): Went back to class awhile later , had maths test . Totally cmi , im gonna fail my maths test for sure ! Went around copying people's answer and my maths teacher wrote down my name , asked me to retest after school . And of course i didnt went for the retest , who cares . Anyway , i also dont know how to do , and she said wanna set a more challenging one for the retest . Even the simple one i also dont know how to do alrd , how to do the more challenging one , right ? After maths was DnT , theory today . Really kill many of my brain cells , seriously . Recess , didnt ate because i didnt have the appetite . Went back to class , and was having fun with classmates . They were trying to play smth exciting , and im laughing like mad ! Social Studies after that , had test too . I think i know how to do , or maybe im just writting some craps on the paper ._. Did finish and sleep till test over . Dismissed after that , went to town with Kristine , Xinyi , Eunice and XiangLing straight after school . Bused to FE , ate our lunch and walk around at Taka and 313 somerset . But went off with Xinyi at around 5.30pm , did some window shopping with her and homed around 7plus . I was so tired , slept at sofe straight after i bathe finish and woke up at 11plus , so posting now . Tmr had tuition again , wonder should i go to Bugis with them again tmr ): I dont feel lke going out because i have no mood . I feel like sleeping all the way and dont wake up , im feeling so tired and sick now ): Sigh , what should i do ? ):
I dont know why do i still miss you ):
I alrd tried my best to forget you , but i cant .
Fuck it , i dont know what should i do now .
I feel like crying everything out again , im so tired .
Why would things turn out to be like this , i hate it .
I feel like asking somebody to slap me right in my face , wake me up .
♥ Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Pleasure of love lasts a moment , but Pain of love lasts a lifetime .
Im back ! (: School was alright today for me , Kristine didnt went to school today . So bused to school alone and met Yuanxin before went in to school . Went in to school together with Yuanxin , blah blah blah ( you know whats that ) . Went back to class after that , English lesson , test & sleep > CME , slacked > DnT , practical > Recess > Maths , slacked > Biology , Sleep & listening music > History , did work > Dismissed . Wanted to stayed back in school till 4pm for cca , but Xinyi called , so went to meet her outside school with XiangLing . Joke and slacked at bus stop till 4pm and walked back to school to meet Gina and Jane . Went up to hall to watch CNY rehersal , bused back around 6plus and reach home around 7.30pm . I think im not privating my blog anymore , cause i felt uncomfortable when i private it ._. Like nobody view it , and its so troublesome if i private because people wants me to invite them in but im lazy :x Thats why i dont like my blog to be private , just leave it unprivate to let everybody see all they want . Hehe , i admit that i dont like people to comment on me or whatever in my tagboard last time . But now , im totally okay with it when people comment on me . I dont know why either , maybe that makes me change into a better person with people's comments about my bad points . I dont get angry or what , i just feel normal for people to comment on me . Lol , okay enough of my craps . I wanna to private my blog for few days actually because of my parents , they kept asking people for my blog url when i lied to them and said i private my blog and they cant go in . But they dont know whats private , so i told them means only the people i invite and me myself can go in . And they told me they wanna take the laptop to ask the person and open my blog -.- Which means they thought that blog are like computer accounts that need password to go into your own user and people can fix it and go into your user without passwords . I told them take to the person also no use , still cant go in no matter how hard you try because it needs my own password . But they still dont understand and keep asking my blog url around , and said within 3days they will read out my post for me when i alrd told them i privated my blog how to read , so just be it since they dont even understand what im talking about at all -.- Just dont like them when they rather believe outsiders/not related people's words than mine . Maybe its because i lied too much and they dont believe me , but i stop to lie to them as much since sec2 , but they still dont trust me , so be it . I dont give a damn actually , no matter how much i explained things to them , they still dont understand -.- And know what , when Elaine told them that my blog is privated and they cant go in . They actually believe her that they cant go in( but still dont understand whats private) and asked her can take to the person to fix it anot -.- Get so fed up and kept complaining around -.- Okay , i heavent bathe yet , lol . Off to bathe now ! (:
♥ Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Its just a process of growing up . And yes , thats Love .
Alright , im back again ! (: School wasn't that good for me today , although i dont know why . I just felt very very tired this morning , woke up and get prepared . Bused to school with Kristine , had assembly today . And i slept cause i was damn tired and the assembly talk was boring ! ): Went back to class after that , had Maths . And this lesson makes me so fed up ! >;( Idiotzxc ! SocialStudies and Chemistry , recess . Mother tongue , laughing away , English then VE , sleep through whole lesson . After school stayed back awhile to wait for Xinyi , bused to lot after that . Went up to library , joke and chat while Eunice doing her work . XiangL was trying to imitate my style of taking picture -.- Everytime ! Never failed to make me laugh ! Went back around 5plus going 6 , just reached home and i felt so empty in my heart now for dont know what reason -.- And i think have i to private my blog soon due to some personal reason , damn it . Maybe tonight or tmr , will post up before i private it ! (:
Alright , im back again ! (: School wasn't that good for me today , although i dont know why . I just felt very very tired this morning , woke up and get prepared . Bused to school with Kristine , had assembly today . And i slept cause i was damn tired and the assembly talk was boring ! ): Went back to class after that , had Maths . And this lesson makes me so fed up ! >;( Idiotzxc ! SocialStudies and Chemistry , recess . Mother tongue , laughing away , English then VE , sleep through whole lesson . After school stayed back awhile to wait for Xinyi , bused to lot after that . Went up to library , joke and chat while Eunice doing her work . XiangL was trying to imitate my style of taking picture -.- Everytime ! Never failed to make me laugh ! Went back around 5plus going 6 , just reached home and i felt so empty in my heart now for dont know what reason -.- And i think have i to private my blog soon due to some personal reason , damn it . Maybe tonight or tmr , will post up before i private it ! (:
Its the 26th again , sigh .
♥ Monday, January 25, 2010
Perhaps we were not meant to be .
Back ! (: Woke up at 6plus today , prepared and meet Xinyi , Eunice and Kristine at inter to bused to school together . School was boring today , had Biology for first lesson . Pe next , did running and then recess . Ate and went back to class , Mother tongue , did compo and then English , Essay planning . After school , went to find teachers for CCA form , makes me sweat like mad -.- Walked out of school with Yuanxin as she wanna meet her brother . Saw Zi Ang and went over to disturb him , after meeting her brother , went back to school to meet Xinyi and XiangLing . Bused to WM after that , had ice cream with Xinyi while Yuanxin and XiangLing went to have their lunch at Koufu . Trained to cck with Xinyi , chat awhile with classmates and friend , and bused home alone . Just finish watching Hi My SweetHeart ep 13 ! Not really in the mood to watch it , but i still finished everything (: Okay , there's school tmr . Hope i will be fine ! Wish me good luck alright ! :D
♥ Sunday, January 24, 2010
Let go ...
Back from Bugis ! (: Woke up at 8plus and get prepared . Trained to TB to meet Candy for our appointment and went to have our lunch after that . Trained to Bugis alone after that , there's so many people today that keep on blocking my way and makes me so fed up ! >;( And im feeling so tired , but i didnt fall asleep or have the intention to sleep there :/ Okay , whatever . Saw Chantel and chat with her awhile ! (: Will be running two bigbig rounds tmr ! ): Omg , have to save my energy for tmr alrd ! Gtg sleep now , bye peeps ! :D
♥ Saturday, January 23, 2010
You'll always remain in my heart
Back ! Woke up at 11.50 today , prepare for tuition . And i dont know i was so damn tired ): After the two hours tuition straight away went to sleep and woke up at 7.30pm . And im still feeling very tired , sigh . Tomorrow still need to wake up early to meet Candy for our appointment . I wonder will i still have the mood to go tmr ): I want faster Monday ): I want go school ! ): Arghh ! Why am i feeling so awful now ?!
I want you to msg me ):
I want you to talk to me ):
I want to see you smiling ):
I want to see you disturbing our classmates ):
I want to see you throwing things around in class ):
I want to see you playing with friends in class ):
I want to see you sleeping and didnt pay attention in class ):
I want to see you making fun of teacher in class ):
I want to see you laughing so hard when somebody making a fool in class ):
I want you to be back like last time ):
Yea , like what you've said . Things may change , but these changes are making me hurtful . I really hope that you will come back , but i dont think is possible anymore .
Yes , you're talking lesser to me now , or can say you can dont talk to me at all , but i cant .
Yes , you're changing because your feeling faded .
Yes , you're not the you anymore .
Yes , you're being so cold to me .
Yes , you're leaving me alone .
Everything change , maybe like what people said , i should stop talking to you because i made you felt irritated . I want to talk to you , play with you like normal friend . But i cant do it , everytime when i saw you , i just dont have the courage to do that . I miss you , i want to see you , i want to msg with you ): Sigh .
♥ Friday, January 22, 2010
我哭了一整夜 , 才发现原来我还是很爱你 .
Back ! (: Nearly woke up late for today again :/ , get prepared and meet Kristine and inter . Bused to school and it was raining heavily ): Stand at the bus stop for awhile to wait for cab . Cab to school from school's bus stop -.- (...) And it just nice , went back to class after that . Its like so cold ._. , maths lesson after that . Sleep for whole two period , and then DnT for three period . Did practical , recess after that . Bought food and went up to class by hiding our food in our pocket -.- Listen to Adam's playing guitar and singing , its like omg , so nice ! :D Had SS leson after that , totally a crap lesson . End school and bused to Kristine's house with XiangLing together with Kristine . Joke awhile , and Kristine cooked smth for us . I was so tired that i fell asleep on her sofa ._. And XiangLing kept taking photo of me sleeping -.- Pervert ! Woke up at 4plus and bused home while XiangLing alight at Yewtee's stop . Im tired ): Tmr having tuition again , sigh .
Sigh , its weekend again .
And i cant get to see you for two days ..
I saw the way you laugh , and i know you're happy .
I saw the way you disturb classmates , and i know you're enjoying .
And i dont know why , i still dont dare to look at you in face .
I would just turn away if i know you're turning to my direction when i looked at you .
I miss the way you joke with me whenever i look at you .
You're treating me so different , you used to talk alot with me , but now im always the one who start to talk to you first .
I miss you ):
♥ Thursday, January 21, 2010
No matter how hard i try , i still cant get over you .
Back ! (: School was sucks today because of my mood ._. Woke up late AGAIN ! Get prepare fast and bused to inter to meet Kristine . Bused to school together , just nice :D Had house meeting today , joking around . Went back to class after that , maths lesson . Planned to sleep , but that teacher keep on waking me up and asked me copied work >;( Argh , copied and just nice lesson over . Wth , no time to sleep ! Chemistry , work too , then History , im slacking all the way . Recess , after recess was free period , and thats when my mood get from bad to worst ! Idiot , bitch ! Classmates cheering me up today , but principal walk pass and came in to scold us for playing the projector . Mother tongue after that , laughing away cause Yuanxin drew my mother tongue teacher out and it looks like criminal face . LOL ! After school went for lunch with Kristine , Yuanxin , XiangLing , Gina , Jane and Darren . After that bused to lot with Kristine to meet Xinyi and Eunice . Went up to library and they made me laugh like mad ! Went home around 4 alone , and i heavent bathe yet -.-
Anw , really thanks to those people who are trying to cheer me up or encourage me(Texts & Tags) in these few days .
- Kristine , Xinyi , Gina , Yuanxin , Eunice , XiangLing , Edison , Darren , Dawn , Anqi , Yuxuan , Chloe , Chantel , Carmen , Bokmay , Jovin , Candy .
Sorry if i missed out your name (: Im really appreciate it . Especially my clique , Xinyi , Eunice and XiangLing . They've been cheering me up these few days , i always forget every heart broken memories whenever im with them .
I thought i'll forget everything , but after today , i realise i cant .
I thought my feelings towards you was fading , but i realise it didnt .
I thought the way i look at you was only as a friend , but i realise its not .
I thought after my friends cheered me up i will be fine , but i realise im not .
I thought after one week i will be happier , but i realise i cant even be happy at all .
I thought i wont teared for you again , but i teared today .
I thought i wont miss you as much like the past , but i realise im still thinking of you .
I thought everytime i talked to you , i will feel better , but i realise i didnt .
I thought after so much things happen , i can finally face you , but i realise , im lying to myself .
Sigh , i told myself to give up and move on . But i realise that i dont even bear to let go at all , how can i move on . I hate it when i need a heart talk with you , yet i cant talk to you about all these things . But , i still have a bunch of super good friends around me , i think with their encouragement , i can move on easily . But i still missing you hard ):
♥ Wednesday, January 20, 2010
别说对不起 , 因为我还爱着你 .
Back ! :D Woke up late again for today ): Bad bad ! I woke up at 6am today , called Kristine and faster went to bathe . But we decided to late for school , so i can slowly take my time ! :D Anw , meet Kristine at inter around 7plus , bused to school after that . Reached school about 7 going 8 , cant find the DM although we went around to look for him , so sneakly went back to class without taking any form ! :x First lesson was English , did some work . Next lesson CME , then DnT , after that recess . And after recess was fun time ! Cause it was maths lesson ! :D Went over to sit with another of my classmate , or primary school friend ? Lol , anything . Then he was kena disturb by my classmates sitting behind me -.- So damn funny ! That whole group of us sitting at that area was laughing like mad ! I like till stomach pain manzxc ! Omg , its been so long i laughed till like that alrd . Totally slacked for the whole two periods of maths lesson , my primary school friend was being disturb by the calssmates behind me when he's playing smth with Yuanxin . Bully till so kelian loh , but i kept laughing and laughing at him -.- His reaction damn cute lah ! Kept getting scolded by teachers , but we talk back and continue playing . Lol ! After maths was Biology lesson , then History . After that end school , bused back with Kristine and Gina . Gina came over to my house took smth and went off . Im so bored at home ! But i had a good time laughing today ! At least my classmates brighten up my day ! (: Alright , gtg alrd . Bye readers ! &' tag more pleaseeee ! ):
♥ Tuesday, January 19, 2010
我真的真的好累 , 你什么时候才能回到我的身边 ?
Im back ! :D School as per normal today . Was tired due to late sleep yesterday , so slept when having assembly . Woke up and just nice asssembly end , went back to class and have maths lesson . Was high-ing with Yuanxin , playing and throwing things around . SS teacher didnt come , copied answer for worksheet and off to play again . Chemistry after that , did some work and off to recess . Didnt ate for recess , because i have no appetite ): After recess went back to class , i fcuking hate my chinese teacher ! FCUKKKKKKK ! >;( Aiming so lousy ! And everytime he come in to class , he will nag and nag non stop for the whole two period ! You know he wanted to throw the marker at one of my classmate and because of his lousing aiming , the marker "fly" towards me and hit my face near my eye . Idiot ! After mother tongue was English , did some work . After that VE lesson , slept for whole lesson because it was boring and tired . Sleep till school end , after school bused to WM with Kristine , Yuanxin , Gina , Jane , Darren , Steven and Bokmay for our lunch at KFC . Finish our lunch and then trained to lot with Kristine to meet Eunice , Xinyi and Xiangling . Meet them at Pizzahut and waited for them to finish their baked rice , bused home alone after that as they wanna went to cck stadium . Reached home and straight away sleep , i was so tired ): Woke up and bathe , now posting . Okay , im sorry that there's no picture again . I promise ! Very very soon ! Nowadays i have no mood to take pictures ): So sorry readers !
我真的好想你,我好希望你能回到我的身边。但是,有这个可能吗?):
♥ Monday, January 18, 2010
I miss the way you smile ...
Back ! :D School as per normal . Woke up at 5.30am today , suppose to meet Kristine , Eunice and Xinyi for breakfast . But all of us was late ._. Met Xinyi at inter first and wait for the two of them . Bused to school together , met Yuanxin at mama shop and went in to school together . And i dont know why , i was so high today . Maybe because i get to see him ? ._. Had Bio for first lesson , did some drawing and after that PE lesson . Ran one big round outside school , finally reached school and my whole face was like so red and i sweat like mad , i was so damn hot and feel so giddy after running . But awhile later im fine , recess and went back to class . I find that my chinese teacher is so fcuking irritating and unreasonable ! He asked whole class to went down to find the teacher just because we didnt change back to our uniform . Like so wth -.- And the teacher said just wear it over our pe shirt . We went up adn told him , he still dont want give up and complain to DM -.- Lame . Whatever , English lesson after that , was okay . After school stayed back at class for awhile because my mother tongue teacher went to complain to DM and make us stay back . Step cute ! -.- After that went to canteen to eat with Yx , Xl , Eunice , Gina and Kristine . Ate finish and bused to WM with XiangLing and Yuanxin . Went to ate ice cream ! Xiangling was making us laugh like mad ! " So you think you are very funny ?! " HAHAH ! :D Went over to Food Court as Xiangling said she wanna eat lunch , saw Qinyu there and chat awhile . Xl ate finish and they went to Qinyu's house while i trained home . Reached home , bathe and etc. Watched " Hi my sweetheart " and now posting (: I know my blog gonna be so boring if my post are still lack of pictures . I promise , i will upload some very soon ! (:
- I miss you ): Sigh ..
♥ Sunday, January 17, 2010
What if the guy you liked,like you back?
- I will so damn hell happy !
When did you last drop your phone?
- Long long time ago .
Can money buy happiness?
- If can , i also want -.-
Do you think women should work or stay at home?
- Work .
Do you believe that if you want something bad enough,you'll get it?
- Maybe ?
How many people do you trust one hundred percent?
- Alot , i cant probably name all out uh .
How many times do you hit the snooze button in the morning?
- What is that ? :x
Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them?
- Depends on who issit .
Do you sleep with a fan on?
- Yea .
How many people have you kissed who's name started with an M?
- No one .
Have you told anybody you loved them today and meant it?
- I dont have the mood to say iloveyou to anybody now .
Do you think you can last in a realationship for 3 months?
- Yea .
How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
- I dont know ?
Whose hand have you last hold?
- Wc ):
What if you dropped your phone in a puddle?
- I would shout ? Lol .
What is your mom saved as in your phone?
- Mummy ? Lol , i knnow it sounds kiddy -.-
Do you know who your real friends are?
- Of course (:
Would you change your eye colour to blue?
- No :x
Would you date a 13 year old at the age you are now?
- LOL ! No way ! -.-
Are you a heartbeaker?
- Maybe ? I dont know .
Is it ever too late to apologise?
- Nope (:
Who was the last person who left your life and hurt you?
- Wc , sigh ):
Do you think things will change in the next few months?
- I hope it will .
Whats the last taste in your mouth?
- Er , sweet ?
Do you know any of your neighbous?
- Yea .
List three things near you:
- Another laptop of mine , tissue , remote control .
What was the last thing you watched on the TV?
- GUESS
What was the last thing you looked up on Google?
- Forgotten alrd .
Is there snow on the ground where you are?
- Do Singapore have snow ?
Do you like when people play with your hair?
- Depends on who issit .
What colour is your hair?
- Red , Brown , Purple ? LOL !
Whats the last thing you feel "awarkd" at?
- Cried in the school like pig .
Where is the person who has your heart?
- In my heart .
What do you hear?
- Songs .
Congratulations,you just had a baby boy!What's his name?
- I dont know ? -.-
What are you craving at the moment?
- Him to be back by my side ):
Are you in a complicated relationship?
- No .
Who was the last person you say I love you to?
- Twc ...
What's your favourite thing to do in the summer time?
- I dont know .
Do you like sliver or gold better?
- Silver .
Would you ever dye your hair blonde?
- No :x
Whats the latest you've stayed up in the past week?
- 4-5am plus ?
Is your birthday in less than 6 months?
- No , still a long way to go .
Would you consider yourself open-minded?
- Er , i dont know . LOL !
Are you wearing anything that doesn't belong to you?
- Nope .
Do you hate it when people call you when you're sleeping?
- If is him/clique , i wont .
What woke you up this morning?
- The sun shines on me -.-
Where were you an hour ago?
- Home .
What was the last drink you had?
- 100plus . Lol .
Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?
- Yea ):
Did anything annoy you today?
- Yes .
If you could,would you punch the last person to hold your hand?
- Definitely no !
If you ex was in trouble and you were the only one that could help him/her,would you?
- I will .
When was the last time you feel like crying?
- Everyday till he becomes mine again ):
Your bf/gf cheats on you.What do you do?
- A break maybe ?
What were you doing this morning at seven A.M?
- Sleeping .
Do you have anything that belongs to a boyfriend or an ex boyfriend?
- Yes .
What would you say if someone told you they were in love with your brother?
- " Oh , then ? " Lol .
How many kids do you want to have?
- 2 ?
Were you happier now or last year ?
- Last year ):
Have you ever been called a bitch?
- Yes , but is only a joke .
When is the next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
- How the hell i know -.-
Have you ever had sitches?
- No .
Do you spend more time on myspace or facebook?
- Facebook .
Do you crack your knuckles?
- Yea :D
What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
- Watching TV .
Your phone is ringing.It's your ex.What do you say?
- I will be smiling to myself first and then pick up and say "Hello" and wait for his reply ._.
I bet you miss somebody right now?
- Yea ):
Do you think you're wasting your time on the person you like?
- No .
Who's clothes are you wearing?
- Mine .
Do you wish things were different with someone?
- Yea ):
Are you easy to make mad?
- Nope :D
Do you belive ex's can be friends?
- Yea .
Do you think you will be a relationship 3 months from now?
- I dont know , maybe not .
Has a guy ever let you wear his jacket?
- Nope .
The last person you had a thing with comes up to you and says "I'm sorry..."
- I forgotten alrd .
Im back to post . Woke up and rot at home today . Tmr will be going to school again , i wonder how would i react if i see him again ): I still missing you alot ...
I wonder when will you be mine again , and if that day comes , will you leave me again ? Im really missing you hard , how i wish time could turn back , turn back to 2009 . The day i start talking to you in facebook , awaiting for you to reply my msg in facebook everyday i on com . The day you asked me to add you in msn , awaiting for you to online and chat with you everyday . The day you gave me your number and asked me to msg you , awaiting for your msg every moments . The day you told how you feel towards me , awaiting to know more about you . The day you asked me for stead , awaiting to see you everyday . I really wish now was 2009 , the first day i know you . We've got so much things to talk about , and we always chat till midnight and still dont feel like offing line in msn . And you gave me your number , we msg everyday , in school , outside , everyday and everytime . Once i think back to those times , my heart starts to get hurt . I thought of the first time i saw you , you texted me that you have a lollipop and asked me whether i want it or not . I said yes and i went over to your class and get it from you , you was standing outside your class on the platform , and i was standing outside your class but not the platform and keep looking in to your class . You told me you cant see me at all but you felt that there's somebody looking in to your class then you looked down and you pass me the lollipop and i went off . The first impression of you to me was , fierce and tall . The first expression you look at me was fierce , because you didnt smile at all . And time flies , we get more and more close each day . Everytime waiting for upper recess and waited for you to come out and i will went back to class . I remembered the way you smiled , the way you walk , the way you talk and the way you stand . Even if is from the back view , i would know thats you . I still remember the msg you text me about how you felt towards me , i cant even understand the english you text to me because my english standard was so lousy . But i acted as i know what you're talking about , and replied you . You told me how i know that you cant give me what i want , how i know that you cant be better that him . I dont blame you for leaving me at all , i dont blame you for breaking all your promises . But why must it be only 3months ? It issint enough for me , just a short 3months and you're leaving me alone . I miss you , i really really really want to be back like last time how you sent me home again . I dont know why , everytime i thought you waiting for me to end work , my heart would get so pain . Everytime thought of us slacking under block , i would be smiling to myself . How did things turn out to be like this ? I want you to be back , but would there be any chance ? ): Sigh ..
♥ Friday, January 15, 2010
I miss you , alot ):
Alright , my mood wasnt that good in this morning . Having tuition , gonna meet xinyi and eunice as im dont wanna went to far east alone later . Not really in the mood to post ... Bye .
I was looking and browse through all the msg , facebook's inbox , messenger chat log and etc. to get abit of memories of how loving we used to be . And everytime before i sleep , i thought of you sending me home from work/school , make fun of me before we are together . I wanna talk to you , but i just dont have the courage to . Im tired of crying , im trying to control my tears in school whenever i see you and thought of how good you're treating me . But when i reach home , i cant help to think of you and i start crying again . People felt irritated of me crying and crying again , i kept everything to myself and cried alone . But i need a shoulder ): Whenever i see you in school , i have the urge to went straight up infront of you to talk to you . But i cant bring myself to do it , im afraid that when i standing infront of you , i might burst out to tears again . I cant forget you at all , you are always in the down deep place of my heart . Causing me heart broken , but its all worth it because i love you . I thought of everytime you waited for me near the staircase at FE to wait for me to come down , and i get hyper everytime i see you . We used to took train home before we are together , and we commented those people on mrt , i always knock my head against something , and you will say " Tsk , careful lah ." You always smile at my blurr face whenever i dont know what the hell you're talking about , and we walked all the way from yewtee to my house , joking and playing around in the dark night along the road side . We used to take bus home after school no matter how tired you are , and i told you i dont like to sit on the bus , and if i want to sit , i must be sitting inside instead of outside of the seat becasue this shows that you're a gentlemen . So i always asked you to stand with me on bus , i remembered the first time we took bus home together was on thursday . I find excuse to skip the programme and meet you at inter , you sent me home and slacked under block . You were so quiet and i was the one who do all the talkings . And slowly you became more and more talkative and playful , and also slowly we took cab home instead of bus/train , because you said you was tired , and we would have more time to slack together if we took cab home . I smiled to myself everytime i opened the msn chat log that i chatted with you last time , thinking of your smile . I see you in school , smiling over some stuffs , i find that you're cute . And i cant help to glance at you for a few more times , i really miss you alot ): When will you come back ? )':
♥ Friday, January 15, 2010
Everything has ended , but i still love you ...
Im back ! Okay , should know what my heading means since i've alrd deleted that column . Sigh , i think alot people saw me crying in school like a pig loh ! But i guess im fine now ._. Hope so , will be continue blogging . Actually after that day , i have no mood to post , like no life like that loh ! After school , reach home , then cry after that went to sleep -.- Decided to private and leave my blog dead , but i dont bear to abandon my blog :P So unprivate and continue psot , but will be posting lesser . Alright , gtg now . Bye .
♥ Sunday, January 10, 2010
1) What is your full name ?
- Ong Zhen Ru :D
2) Have you kissed anyone in the last 48 hours ?
- No .
3) Have you cried today ?
- Yea ):
4) What are you doing this morning at 8am ?
- Sleeping like a pig .
5) What were you doing an hour ago ?
- Watching tv .
6) What are you currently doing ?
- Doing this quiz luh -.-
7) Have you told anyone that you love them today ?
- No .
8) Do you miss anyone now ?
- Definitely ):
9) Any plans for tomorrow ?
- Hmm , no .
10) What's the reason behind the last you cried ?
- Sigh , relationship problems .
11) Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with the letter C ?
- Nope .
12) Name someone who makes you smile today .
- Kristine .
13) Name a friend whoses name starts with the letter Z .
- Ziayi
14) Among all your friends , who stays closers to you ?
- There's alot , clique ..
15) Do you prefer call or text ?
- Call .
16) Was yesterday better than today ?
- No .
17) Can you live a day without TV & your phhone ?
- Tv can , phone no way .
18) Are you mad about anythings now ?
- Nope .
19) Did you ever think that relationships are worth it ?
- Depends on who issit .
20) Last person you visited in the hospital ?
- Forgotten :/
21) When is your 2nd last hug ?
- Er , Thursday ?
23) How do you feel about your life now ?
- Im very tired .
24) Do you hate anyone ?
- Nope .
25) Who usually send you the most msgs in a month ?
- Gina and Baby .
26) Is your room very messy now ?
- Can say so , especially my bed .
27) Your shortest relationship ?
- 2Hours , HAHAHA ! Edison ! Your name here eh , honoured ?
28) Who do you love ?
- TWC , clique/friends .
Back from FE (: Met Candy at TB around 12pm , late for our appointment . Rush up to JeanYip , done everything and went to LJS for lunch . Trained to FE after that , baby didnt manage to fetch me home . So cab home alone at around 6.45pm , reach my house downstairs around 7.15pm . I went to the place we used to slacked . Memories and flash back came across my mind , thinking of the first day you sent me home from school , looking at the stone table and thinking of the times we used to sat there and make fun of each other after fetching me back from work , looking at the fitness corner we used to sat there and chatting or joking around . Most memories was the stone table near the basketball court , we used to sat there for a very long time playing and chatting everytime you sent me home from work/school . Went over to the recent shelter we slacked and sat down there , thinking of how loving and fun we used to be . I smiled to myself , flashing back to those times , when i told you that im afraid of the insect and ran over to the other side of yours and you held my hand , you always look and sound so hyper whenever you get to see me and fetch me from work . We sat at the stone table and making fun of each other , and i keep on talking non stop , you look at me and listen to every nonsense i spout . You laugh at every stupid action i did , get abit mad at me whenever i said vulgarities , bullied me when i make fun of you . And i start crying after that , how i wish it was holiday now , so you can sleep longer and spend some time with me . And you can sent me home everyday after work , seeing your cute face everyday , making fun of you everyday , playing with you everyday and seeing those cute and childish actions you did . But now , i can hardly see you in one week , i miss you ): I called Kristine and starting to complain and cried on phone . Chat till around 8pm , hang and sat alittle while more . Went back home around 8.15pm . And i was so happy that we chatted on phone at midnight , you still sound so cute as before , keep on shooting me as before , sound so hyper every night as before . I guess everything's back to normal , no more crying from me anymore . It sucks to the core , tmr will be meeting you in the early morning , taking bus with you to school . Finally i get to see you again , I Love You (:
♥ Saturday, January 09, 2010
不知道从什么时候开始,我就爱上了你。我知道现在叫你把她给忘了是不可能的事,我也已经很努力很努力让自己尝试去接受这个事实。可是,不知为什么,我的心还是一样的空虚。我很想问你,你什么时候才能忘了她?你的心什么时候才能真正属于我的?我真的觉得好辛苦,爱你爱得好辛苦,每天晚上也哭得好辛苦。为了不让你担心,我把所有的事都往自己的肚里吞。为了不让你担心,我的心充满了问号,但却不敢吭一声。我每天只能在你的面前伪装,装作若无其事的样子,装作很开心的样子。可是你却不知道我有多么的难过,多么的想告诉你能不能把她给忘了。我有好多好多的话想跟你说,有好多好多的事情想问你。我只想知道,我到底有没有存在你心目中,我到底在你心目中的位置有多高。如果我让你走,回到她的身边,你会比较快乐吗?如果会的话,那我愿意让你从我的心里走出去,不要回头看着我,因为如果你回头,我怕我会改变主意不再放开你。顺着你的心意,做出对的选择。我真的真的希望你会快乐,因为我爱你。
♥ Thursday, January 07, 2010
也许你不是真的爱我 , 如果有一天你想放弃 , 请记得我们曾经拥有的过去 .
Im back ! :D Alright , start with yesterday first . Bused to school with baby and Kristine , and early in the morning my hair get caught again >;( , so as Kristine , Eunice , Bokmay and Gina . Sat infront and record our name , get form and went back to class . After school went to WM had lunch at KFC , then went to popular . After that bused to a market near bokmay's house to buy black dye . But couldnt find any , so bought a deep brown . Went over to Bokmay's house and dyed , after wasshing and dryed our hair . Is like so red ._. , but now it looks like black . Cab home at around 6pm , and straight away sleep . Baby , you influence me lah ): Im like so tired everyday -.- Anw , Kristine didnt went to school today as she not feeling well . So met baby at inter and cab to school , and im having a bad stomach ache . Reached school , just get down the cab awhile and baby get caught , wtf . Saw Eunice and went up to class with her . Maths lesson after that , find excuse to go down as i wanna see where baby at :P And i saw him holding a green form ): so i knew he was being sent home . Mood changed straight after that , went up and sleep . Woke up and copied answer from Yuanxin . Sms baby after finish everything , he still sound so hyper . And i was relieve , starts to get high after that . Had two free period after recess , because others gone to POA and CPA lesson . So left some of us in the class without any teachers , lotter around the school . And baby told me he was coming back to school , straight went down to concourse and saw him at second floor -.- Went up again , mother tongue after that . Nothing much , release and followed baby awhile . And cab home together with him , slacked and went back home . You know i damn hate my parents , i cant even have some time to eat outside or whatever . I have to went straight home after school , if not they gonna drive me home everyday after school , wtf . And 3-4plus they kept calling and calling me , like so irritating . Reached home and they called my house phone and start to ask why so late reach home or whatever . Get so fed up everytime , thats why i prefer school than home . Okay , enough of my nonsense , im tired . Off to sleep now , bye ! (:
♥ Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Im really trying very hard ...
Sorry for not posting yesterday , cause i was sleeping all the way till next morning :x Alright , the pictures above was taken yesterday (:
First day of school , cab to school with baby . Then had some rubbish talk or whatever , after that had full attire check . I get caught for contact lens and hair colour ): See my brown hair colour above ? Now i dyed back black , so not that brown anymore ): After checking , went back to class after that . Sat with yuanxin or keep laughing away . All the way till after school , my mood changed and wasnt in the very good mood . Cab to lot with Gina , Kristine and Steven . Accompanied them to eat Mac , after that me and Kristine bused home . But awhile later Kristine , Gina and Steven came over to my house for dying hair . Kristine helped us , black hair now ): Done everything and they went back at 6pm , so sleep all the way till next morning . Baby didnt went to school today , and today morning also wasnt in the good mood as my mood hasnt "recover" from yesterday . So cab to school with Kristine , but mood changed after recess ? Or one period before recess , but still okay . After school baby came and fetch me back . Cab home and slack awhile before going home . Reached home , took out my contact lens and off to sleep -.- Woke up at 7plus and bathe , eat and etc. Alright , might be posting tmr . Gtg alrd , bye ! :D
♥ Sunday, January 03, 2010
让我的想念继续
Alright , im getting bored and starts posting . Woke up at 7.30am today , prepared and bused to cck stadium . Waited for sister to finish her swimming lesson . So boring sitting alone like idiot there ._. Reached home at 10plus , straight away knock out and woke up at 5pm . School starting tmr , and also baby's birthday ^^ But after what my sister said , i dont feel like going school :x She said my hair colour is damn obvious , obvious than my previous colour . At least my previous hair colour can only be seen under sunlight , now without sunlight also can see . Ah , see did i get caught tmr anot . Seems like i have nothign to post today uh . Will be posting tmr , i think tmr will be a wordy post . Alright , im off to sleep now :x Heh .
♥ Saturday, January 02, 2010
Let me continue to say iloveyou .
Okay , i think i should be posting :/ Its alrd 2010 and my post still stucking at 2009 . School starting on 4thJan , which means that there's 1 more day . So fast , Stacks of papers and books going to appear infront of me one by one ): And i thought that i wouldnt have tuition anymore that makes me so happy -.- In the end my mother told me that my tuition starts on next saurday , so damn fast ): Anyway , bused to Panjang to bought my lens with my sister . You know she's so dman noisy in the bus , keep making me laugh and then she told me dont laugh so loud -.- Bought my lens and then walk around to find my brother's pencil case as he's going to primary 1 soon ^^ , can see him wearing my primary school's uniform . Like so cute , he wore and he ask my father handsome anot ._. But in the end to no avail ): , so bused back to lot and went up to popular , bought all my stationaries and etc. Then went over to find Candy at my shop , stayed there awhile and bused back home . Going to bring my sister to her swimming lesson tmr , which means i have to wake up damn early . I had to wake up at 7am and prepare , its been very very long since i woke up so early . I wonder can i wake up on the first day of school :x I used to wake up at 2plus or later -.- Lol . Alright , gtg . Bye readers ! (: